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Paying It Forward

Paying it forward simply means doing the same favor you’ve received from someone else to other people. For instance, someone did a small, kind favor for you today. Instead of paying back that person, you do the same kind of favor to someone else. Paying it forward is a very powerful concept. One random act of kindness has the power to change someone’s day for the better. Imagine if everyone in the whole world practiced this concept. One good deed can touch millions of people! While we can only dream about living in a much better world, paying it forward can truly make a lot of people’s lives better. Your generosity and your kindness are going to make others happy. But will it make you happy as well?
Well, research says yes. Giving makes you feel good about yourself. You may have hurt a lot of people in the past, but when you do a good deed for a stranger, you think there may be hope for you yet. It gives you a rush that’s unlike any other. It makes you feel fantastic you did something that helped somebody, and made them happy in the process!

Being kind has a lot of tangible benefits.

Here are some of the top ones:
It makes us happy Some people say kindness is overrated because it sets you up as an easy target for abuse. This may be true, but then again, there’s no rule book that says you have to be kind to everyone. Not everyone deserves your kindness. The moment you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, just move on from that person. Don’t let a few rotten eggs turn you off from helping others. There are plenty more people who will appreciate your help and will be more than willing to pay your kindness forward. These are the people you should strive to help out. With that said, when you help people who truly need your help, you’ll feel a deep sense of happiness and accomplishment that you’re not going to find anywhere else.

It improves relationships

We naturally gravitate to people who exude positivity, that includes the people we view to be good and kind. While it’s true you should only help someone because you want to help, not because you’re expecting anything in return, the fact remains that being kind has a few side benefits.
These include making others feel ‘close’ to you. They’d feel like you’re a kindred spirit, someone who understands their struggles and is willing to help them out in times of need.
No matter how angry or upset you may be at someone if they do a good deed that benefits you, it ultimately makes it easier for you to ‘forgive’ them. In short, kindness can mend and improve relationships.

It improves our lives

Try doing a random act of kindness every day for a few weeks, and see if that doesn’t turn into a good habit. When you’ve made kindness a habit, your self-satisfaction is going to be at an all-time high.
The people whose lives you’ve touched in one small way or another are going to be grateful to you. You’ll make new friends. You’ll be happier. You’ll be a more positive person. You’ll be a joy to be around with.
Don’t expect anything in return though. If the people you’ve helped continue to pay it forward, you’re making your community – and the world – a much better place. No matter how small or insignificant you think your act of kindness is, continue doing it. You may not know it, but all these small things are going to add up, and your kindness will come back to you when you least expect it. It’s how karma and the universe works.

Your happiness begins with you. If you’re in an unhappy state right now, look deep within you for answers. Figure out why you’re unhappy and from there, look into improving yourself and building more positive relationships with others. Learn to love yourself and make yourself happy first. It’s going to be hard making others happy if you can’t even be happy yourself. Make the right choices and the right decisions. Start by replacing your bad habits with positive ones. Make an effort to be happy and learn how to maintain that happiness in the face of trials and tribulations – your road to ‘happily ever after’ has just begun

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Build Positive Relationships

Material possessions can indeed make you happy, but not nearly as much if you share those possessions with people you love and respect. After all, we are hardwired to thrive in human contact and relationships. From the moment you were born, you had an instant relationship with your parents, siblings, and extended family members. When you went to school, you had classmates. When you went to work, you had colleagues and co-workers. And so on. You will go through your entire life building and maintaining friendships with a lot of people. Unfortunately, not all relationships are going to be happy and positive. In fact, you’ll probably have your fair share of toxic relationships with people around you; this includes your closest family members and friends.

If you want to live a happy life, then you need to spend less and less time with these toxic individuals. If you can afford to cut them out of your life altogether, then do it. It may be hard, but if it’s for the best, that is, living your life without them is going to make you happy, then go for it. Sometimes, a clean break is all you need to push your happiness meter from empty to full. When you’re with the right kind of people (the good kind), your happiness is going to be off the charts. You’ll be happier, more inspired, and more likely to be content. Spending your time with good people is literally going to be the highlight of your day, or even your week or month if you don’t spend nearly as much time with them as you’d like.
Here are a few ways to start building positive relationships with the people around you:

Get to know other people

If you’re the shy type, then it’s time to start getting out of your shell. Take the initiative and start talking to people. Say something nice and try to build rapport, and see if you can get a conversation going. Some probably would want to be left alone. But for most people, having someone else initiate the conversation brings them out of their shell, too. Enjoy making a new friend!

Be more understanding

Whether you like it or not, one of the best ways you can build relationships with others is to be more understanding. Try being open-minded when meeting new people. After all, we all have our differences. We are unique individuals with our own attitudes, our own beliefs, our own cultures. When you’re more understanding, you can easily imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes to know where they’re coming from.

Be a good listener

Listening is so much more than just being someone’s sounding board. Listen to what the person is saying and try to understand what’s actually being said, instead of just nodding absentmindedly. Good listeners make great friends; it shows you truly care about the other person.

Be a good communicator

A lot of problems can arise when communication lines get crossed. This is why it’s essential to develop your communication skills. It’s so easy to assume everyone understands what you’re saying, when in fact, they’re taking it the wrong way. Relationships can quickly go sour because of this. You’re saying one thing, but the other person is interpreting it in an entirely different manner.
Positive relationships do so much for us. The more positive relationships you have, the happier you will generally be. Happy relationships build our self-esteem and help us go through the motions of life in a more positive state. This, in turn, has a desirable effect of making you enjoy life more.

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Law of Attraction VS Shadow Work

There are two major streams of thought within the psychology and spiritual sectors. People who follow the law of attraction believe that what you think gathers momentum over time and attracts more positive thoughts. If we can tune our vibration towards things that make us happy, then this momentum will increase, and being happy will become easier and easier. But there are others who make an equally effective argument. Every person has a shadow side that is repressed by modern society, if this shadow side is not scrutinized and allowed to express itself, then it will continue to lurk in our subconscious,
sabotaging our happiness. Whatever is within us needs to be processed and expressed in some way. It is a commonly accepted scientific principle that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but it can be transmuted.

A Deeper Look Into the Shadow


Shadow psychology was first popularized by the imminent professor Carl Jung. The shadow is the unconscious aspect of ourselves that we cannot consciously identify with. There are actually positive aspects of the shadow side. “People Pleasers” need to start identifying with their anger and start telling people to get lost, in no uncertain terms. But because they were brought up in such a way as to respect others and be “good”, they find it difficult to consciously understand that saying no to people can be immensely organic, satisfying, and natural. Instead, they take on more work than they should and end up stressed, believing that sabotaging their mental and emotional wellbeing is somehow a ‘positive’ thing.
Generally, however, the shadow exhibits negative tendencies. It contains deep fears and insecurities. It then projects these fears and securities onto other people. Often, people will project their own negative tendencies onto others to deal with their own pain. It is the next best thing to being able to confront it within themselves, which is far more difficult. For Jung, the best way to explore the Shadow side was through dreamwork and symbolic analysis. The Shadow was referred to as the “Unconscious” in the works of both Sigmund Freud and Friedrich Nietzsche. The concept of Shadow Self has become much more popular in recent times due to the prior dominance of the law of attraction. More people than ever are involved in dreamwork and self-assessment questionnaires to dissolve shadow tendencies and bring the shadow self to the forefront of the conscious mind.

The Law of Attraction


The Law of Attraction is demonstrated or alluded to in many historical societies and spiritual texts. It is not the sole domain of the Hicks, though they are the ones who have brought it to the public awareness in a 21st-century context. The Law of Attraction makes perfect sense and does more to explain why some people are successful and others are not more than anything else. But the complete set of teachings add so much more and delve into complex situations that extend far beyond focusing on positive thoughts.
Additionally, it places a new emphasis on desires and emotions. These were viewed as ‘dirty’ from an Eastern spiritual perspective, where we gain much of our esoteric information from. Such distortions have convinced people that desires and emotions are somehow evil, though nothing could be further from the truth. Moreover, too much emphasis has been placed on mental thoughts, when it is the emotional vibrations that are what gives the strength to the manifestation. The law of attraction is based on feelings as opposed to thoughts, which is a completely new paradigm.


Which One Should I Do?
The good news is that there is no need for discrimination. Shadow work and a positive mindset can both easily be applied together. There is no need to side with one group ‘against’ the other. This is both pointless and counterproductive. Instead, embrace the best of both worlds. You might find that doing positivity work brings up hidden shadows and that focusing on understanding the Shadow works to increase your levels of positivity. A good compromise could be to do both shadow work and keep positive psychology but try to focus more on positive psychology. It also helps to notice that there is a difference between ignoring something and focusing on the positive side of things. So meet your difficulties head-on and face them upfront. At the same time, try to look to the future and be optimistic about what it has in store for you. Don’t avoid the past and your inner demons, as this has been identified as the number one impediment to future growth and development. Emotional avoidance is also the leading cause of unhappiness according to some experts in the field of psychology. It can be a tough line to balance between the two. But to develop a really healthy mindset, you have to focus on both.